I was ready to write about how this year was full of highs and lows. How it almost broke me but gave me back my life. And then my husband reminded me that No2 was born in 2011, that we went to Vegas in 2011, and all the good stuff happened in… you guessed it. 2011.
My New Years Eve tweet read, “Suck it, 2012.”
You see, this was the year I lost my last grandparent. It was 52 weeks of broken sleep with a
baby toddler who still does not sleep through the night. I severely injured my spine twice this year, got one ride in an ambulance, spent a cumulative period of 5 weeks on narcotics, and endured one spinal injection and 7 days on an oral steroid. I watched helplessly from afar as one of my best friends nearly lost her battle with Bipolar Disorder. This year, the stomach flu wiped out my entire family for two weeks. For four months early in the year, I argued with pediatricians about my colicky newborn only to discover that I could cure all her ills if I could live without dairy. It’s the year I saw my local bestie maybe a dozen times in the last 365 days, and she lives in the neighborhood next to mine. It’s the year my husband and I sacrificed our time together and put our marriage lower on the priority list so we could just survive. Turns out my “one word” for the year was survive.
That’s not to say it wasn’t also full of joy. I went to BlogHer ’12. I dyed my hair hot pink and slept in a bed with a stranger from the internet. I watched my baby grow from a limp newborn to an inquisitive, walking toddler. I met a major personal goal and breastfed No2 for over a year (and am still going strong)! I made new friends and found a community of moms online who have enriched my life in a way I never knew was possible over the Internet. I have a warm home, plenty of food, and friends and family nearby to experience life with. In many ways, I was very lucky last year.
But still, I’m looking forward to 2013 and the renewed excitement and hope that comes with the new year and fresh, clean calendar.
My word this year? Is FUN. We’ve been so entrenched in survival mode around here, I feel like we’ve forgotten how to let go and have fun. I want my girls to remember a childhood of silliness, laughter, and joy. And I want that for myself, too.
Huge thanks to Melanie at Only a Breath for the beautiful One Word button!