Tag Archives: humor

Lost For Words

6 Jan

We were trapped in the car when the questions started.

Hey, Mommy?

If somebody dies in their house, and the mailman brings them their mail but they’re dead, how does the mailman get them their mail?

Um, what?!

The mailman would come to their door but they’d be dead.

Um….

So what would happen to the mail?

I think the mail would pile up and the mailman would eventually take it back to the post office.

Then new people would live the in house?

Yes, then new people would get their mail delivered to the house.

What about if all the mommies and daddies were dead and there were no more mommies or daddies.  Who would make more mommies?  Would robots make more mommies and daddies?

Um, Daddy?  Want to take this one?

No1 asks deep, serious questions, and we’re committed to answering her as honestly as possible.  But sometimes, her left-field questions just make us giggle and we stumble over our words, searching for what to say.  These moments are my favorite with my four-year-old.  Her innocence, her curiosity, her direct nature.  I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

What’s the strangest, funniest, or most awkward question your child has asked you?

And then we got drunk and made an infomercial. . .

15 Sep

I feel like I should explain before I publish this video and share it with the internet and my future grandchildren.

Yesterday I went to Target for two things: storage bins and swiffer sweeping cloths.  I came back with kids’ scissors, construction paper, a dress, a clock, and an inflatable moose head.

I couldn’t help myself.  At first when I picked it up from the clearance shelf, I intended only to laugh at the ridiculousness of its existence.  Then I flipped the box over and read the back:

Decorating your home has never been so easy!  Simply inflate your moose head, then hang it up to instantly add character to any room.  Inflated moose head measures 30″H x 29″W x 24″D.  Made from durable vinyl, the moose head comes with a repair patch for any accidents and its own hang tab and string for quick and easy decorating.  Easy, inflatable, fun!  Wooden mount not included.

Since when was inflatable vinyl considered decorating?  I mean, I like a good animal carcass on the wall as much as the next girl, but I like mine good and dead.  Not plastic.  And it sure seems a little large.  But wait.  It comes with a repair patch? For inflatable moose head-related accidents?  Sold.

And then it jumped in my cart, rode home in my car, and sat on the table during dinner while my husband and I finished a bottle of wine.

This video is a result of that bottle of wine. And though I believe I might regret posting this, it’s just too silly not to share.

Enjoy.

On Search Terms

13 Sep

ImageI see your search terms, googler.  One day you search for “sweatpants” and another for “nursery with queen bed.”  I question your judgement (and my writing) when you search for “doodle up girls a@$hole.”

And then today, you searched for “why am i having intrusive thoughts baby is 7 months old” and my heart hurt for you.  I’m glad you’re searching for answers and reaching out, even if only online.  I’m honored that you landed at Learned Happiness.  And I hope what you found here helped.  I hope it let you know you’re not alone.  You do not have to suffer.  Tell your doctor, your partner, your friend.  You deserve to be happy and healthy.

And should you return, I’ll be here.  Still sharing about mental health.  And pandas.  And Oreos.

Motherhood is…

6 Mar

Background vector by by DragonArtz – http://www.dragonartz.net

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